Sober
by LovelyDino99
Summary: Jace, surprisingly, has started drinking and being high all the time. Alec notes this and he tries to help him. Jace realizes that the chorus is true. "I'm safe Up high, Nothing can touch me, But why do I feel this party's over?, No pain Inside, You're my protection, How do I feel this good sober" AU story JacexAlec
1. The Beginning

**AN:/ hello lovely people! this is an AU story that i am in the process of writing, based off of a great idea a great girl by the user name of cnaheartsbotdf gave me and shes super awesome! you guys should read some of her stories! but anyway i hope you enjoy this first chapter and please review!**

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**3rd POV**

Jace was walking down the hall to his room, lost in thought. Lately he had been feeling just…not his self and he had no idea why. He felt like he was losing himself. Losing who he used to be. Jace sighed as he closed the door to his room and locked it. He walked over and sat on his bed reaching under the mattress for the small bag that contained the white powdered substance. He got up and went over to his desk laying down the ticket and dumped some of the powder onto the desk.

He had been doing this for about 4 months now. He was drinking more, going out to the clubs, getting high. It was his distraction and Alec noticed. Jace lined up the powder into a line. He leaned down and sniffed up the line, then wiped at his nose. Jace sighed at the feeling he was already experiencing. _It's not enough_. Jace thought to himself. Jace pulled his desk back a bit and pulled out the back of weed he had hidden back there. Jace sighed again and took out his wallet grabbing an old ticket. He dumped some of the weed onto the ticket, evening it out a bit before rolling it up in the ticket. Jace took his lighter out of his pocket and brought the joint to his lips, putting it into his mouth and lighting it. He inhaled slow and long before removing the joint from his mouth and sighing causing the smoke to be released from his lungs. He took another pull from the joint holding the smoke in his lungs a bit longer to feel that comfortable burning before letting it out. Jace leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes taking another pull and another until it was nothing but a small bud, then dropped it into the empty Monster can sitting at the edge of his desk, then fell asleep for about 10 minutes.

When Jace opened his eyes they were bloodshot. Jace giggled and stumbled over to his bed where he flopped onto it. Rolling over and staring up at the ceiling. After a while of staring at the ceiling lost in his own loopy thoughts, Jace sat up went over to the door of his bedroom and listened. He didn't hear anything so he opened the door and crept down the hall to the small kitchen that was shared between himself, Alec, and Izzy.

They had moved out of the house about a year ago when Alec turned 18 and didn't want to deal with Maryse and Robert's fighting all the time.

It seemed as though no one else was home, so he grabbed the bottle of whiskey he had hidden under the kitchen sink where neither Izzy nor Alec had ever looked for anything. Jace carried it up to his room, opening it in the process and taking a big gulp. Coughing slightly at the burning. Jace grinned and got a drunken grin on his face as he took four more long gulps of the alcohol.

Jace jumped at the sound of his phone ringing.

_This used to be a funhouse, but now it's full of evil clowns_

Jace laughed at the song he had made his ringtone and sat up pulling it out of his pocket.

"Hello" Jace slurred.

"Jace?" Alec said on the other end.

"Oh hey Alec! I miss you! Where are you?"

Jace said not doing a very good job of covering up the fact that he was both drunk and high. On the other end Alec sighed knowing exactly what kind of state Jace was in. Alec had been watching him for a while now noticing that over the past 4 months Jace had slowly begun to deteriorate. He had changed, started partying all the time and getting drunk. Jace had always been a partier but not like this. Now it was as if he was trying his hardest to get as drunk as possible. Trying to forget about something or someone. He wasn't sure but it scared Alec. Alec was in love with Jace, he had been for a while. He cared so much and just thought it was a phase. Now he was beginning to think something was seriously wrong with his parabatai.

"I'll be home in 5 minutes Jace. Just hold on a bit." Alec sad before hanging up on a giggling Jace.

_At least he's a happy drunk._ Alec thought.

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**AN:/ OK! so i hope you liked it please give me your thoughts on it by giving me a review! thanks for reading :)**


	2. Discovery

**AN:/ So, here's chapter 2! I hope you are enjoying Sober so far! please R&R :)**

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Alec got home with 5 minutes like he told Jace he would. Alec had just gotten off his last shift of the day at Hot Topic where he worked and called to see if Jace was home or not so he could stop by the book store. When he realized Jace was drunk he had to get home. He didn't want his parabatai to be home by himself in that condition. There was no telling what he could do.

Alec pulled the keys out of the ignition of his black BMW M5 and stepped out of the car. He sighed walking up to the door of their house. He unlocked the door and stepped in smelling something strange in the air that he couldn't quite put a name to.

"Jace?" Alec called out whilst closing the door behind him. He didn't get a response so he assumed Jace must have fallen asleep but decided to check on him anyway. Alec kicked off his shoes and threw his black messenger bag on the couch. Alec's style had changed quite a bit since they left home where they were heavily guarded form the outside. After they moved Alec met this guy named Ragnor and they became friends pretty quickly. In fact they became best friends. You could say Ragnor was one of those "emo" kids, but he was also very flamboyant. Ragnor introduced Alec to music he had never heard before. It was a genre called punk-rock. Ragnor made him listen to bands called Of Mice & Men, Bring Me The Horizon, Suicide Silence, Asking Alexandria, etc. he loved every single band Ragnor introduced him too. Alec soon got tired of his plain shirts and baggy blue jeans. He told Ragnor about how he wanted to change up his style so Ragnor took him to Hot Topic for the first time. Alec had fallen in love with the store instantly and bought several pairs of black and dark grey skinny jeans, along with many band shirts, checkered wrist bands etc. Ragnor had also taken him to get his hair changed. Alec's hair was rather long and messy so when they got it cut, they got it shorter in the back while keeping his bangs long. Alec still wore old sweaters and he was still quiet and shy around other people but he liked his new style.

Alec walked down the hallway to Jace's room and knocked once before opening it. The room was a little foggy due to smoke and Jace was laying on his bed laughing like a hyena. Jace had rolled and smoked 2 more joints in the time it took Alec to get home. There was left over cocaine and weed on his desk leaving it a mess. Alec's eye went wide at the sight before him. He knew Jace was a drinker but he had no idea he was doing drugs too.

"JACE!?" Alec ran over to Jace and shook him. "ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT?!" Alec screamed at him in anger. Jace simply laughed more and rolled over. Alec took a deep breath knowing that with Jace in this state, he wouldn't get what Alec was saying, and he would have to wait until Jace was sober to really talk to him about this. Alec walked over to the window next to Jace's desk and opened it to let the smoke out, then turned on the fan to help a bit. He picked up all of the drugs Jace had and looked over at his parabatai. Jace was watching him and when he saw Alec had his happy medicine he sobered up a bit.

"What are you doing?" Jace asked in complete seriousness. Alec didn't say anything but shook his head and took the drugs with him to the bathroom. Jace followed him and watch in horror as Alec flushed his drugs down the toilet.  
"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Jace screamed.

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**AN:/ OK! I hope you liked it! Thank you so much for reading and please leave a review telling me your thoughts on it! :) 3**


	3. The Blow Out

**AN:/ hello! i hope you are enjoying my story Sober! please R&R and thanks for the support! :) **

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"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Jace screamed. Alec stared at him straight with anger coursing through his veins.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!" Alec screamed back. Alec was pissed. He couldn't comprehend what could have possibly driven his brother to doing drugs. Their life wasn't the greatest but it wasn't that bad. At least, Alec had thought is wasn't.

"HOW COULD YOU JUST FLUSH THEM LIKE THAT?!" Jace yelled getting in Alec's face.

"LIKE WHAT? LIKE A FUCKING SANE PERSON WOULD?"

"I NEEDED THOSE! THEY HELPED!"

"THEY ARE DRUGS JACE! THEY COULD KILL YOU DUMB FUCK! ARE YOU FUCKING MENTAL? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Alec yelled back, not hearing Jace's somewhat confession.

Alec crossed his arms and stared hard at Jace who was staring at him with complete fury.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Jace growled pushing Alec by his shoulders. Jace pushed Alec so hard that he slammed into the shower wall hitting his head on the tile. You could hear the smack of Alec's head hitting the wall, then his body falling into the tub part of the shower. For a moment Alec laid in the shower motionless before he sat up slowly holding a hand to the back of his head and blinking rapidly.

"Shit." Alec whispered to himself. He brought his hand back to look at, seeing blood on it. Alec looked up at Jace who was frozen in place. Jace had seemingly sobered up seeing Alec's blood. Alec stood up slowly holding his hand to the back of his head glaring at his brother.

"Alec…" Jace began but was shut down by Alec pushing his way past Jace and out of the bathroom. Jace took in a shaky breath staring at the spot his brother just stood and saw the splatter of blood on the shower tiles. Jace ran out of the bathroom in search of Alec, finding him in the kitchen holding a dish rag to the back of his head.

"Alec…" Jace started seeing his brother's pained face. Alec glared at him, but Jace stepped toward him anyway. Jace took slow steps hoping not to set Alec off. He knew how violent and angry Alec could get and he did not want to see that right now, especially with Alec being hurt. Alec watched Jace's every move carefully with a glare. Jace stared Alec in the eyes and slowly brought his hand up taking the rag from Alec hand and holding it to his head for him. Alec's glare slowly diminished into nothing but a pained expression. Alec closed his eyes and whimpered when Jace applied too much pressure to a certain part of the wound.

"I'm so sorry…" Jace whispered.

Jace stared at Alec's pained face. Admiring every feature of his "brother's" face. Their bodies and faces were mere inches apart and there was a sort of comfortable pull in the air that both of them felt toward the other. Jace moved his free hand slowly over to Alec's, brushing his fingers over his softly before taking his hand in his own. Alec opened his eyes slowly, meeting Jace's eyes. Jace took deep breaths and let his eyes drift down to Alec's lips, then back up to his eyes. _What are you doing Jace? He is your stepbrother! _Jace thought to himself, but he didn't care. Right now everything felt completely right. Alec breathed slow, deep breaths watching Jace carefully. Jace leaned in slowly.

"JACE? ALEC?" A voice yelled from the entry way along with the slamming of the front door. Jace and Alec jumped apart at the sudden interruption. Alec looked at Jace with a question in his eyes for a moment before Izzy came through the open doorway to the kitchen.

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**AN:/ was it what you were expecting? how do you think the atmosphere will be between Jace and Alec? should Alec pursue or ignore it? should Jace pursue of ignore it? leave me a review telling me what you think should happen. also how dp you think Alec will handle Jace's addiction? thanks for the support! :) 3**


	4. The Confession

**AN:/ Ok so here is chapter 4! i hope you guys are enjoying it. i would really appreciate it if you review so i know what you think of the story:)**

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"Hey guys!" Izzy said with a smile. Alec gave her a small smile and grabbed the rag from Jace holding it to the back of his head again. Jace looked at him with worry in his eyes. Alec glanced at Jace for a moment, seemingly saying be cool with his eyes. Jace nodded and they both turned their attention back to Izzy. Izzy set her purse on one of the bar stools and looked up seeing Alec holding the rag to his head.

"Oh my gosh! Why are you holding a rag to your head? Are you hurt?" Izzy said rushing over to Alec to inspect his head. Alec looked over at Jace, who pleaded with him not to tell Izzy with his eyes.

"Oh I just slipped in the shower. Hit my head." Alec said watching Jace the whole time, who visibly relaxed hearing what Alec said for an excuse. With Izzy inspecting his head, she didn't see their silent communication.

"It's just a cut. Not too bad, but you got to be more careful Alec. You could have given yourself a concussion." Alec nodded and gave her a small smile.

"Ok well I have job application's to fill out…" Izzy looked over at Jace who was staring at Alec. Alec was staring back and they seemed to be communicating silently once again.

"Am I missing something?" Izzy asked suspiciously. Jace averted his eyes to Izzy and smiled at her.

"No. Not at all." Izzy looked at Alec who shook his giving a look of confusion to pull off the lie. Izzy nodded.

"Alright then…" She still looked suspicious but seemed to pass it off for nothing. Izzy grabbed an apple and her purse and walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. Alec listened until he heard the click of Izzy's door closing.

"What was that?" Alec asked staring at Jace. He wasn't mad about the intimacy Jace almost gave him, but he was confused as to why Jace would come on to him.

"What as what?" Jace laughed nervously and avoided Alec's gaze.

"Oh, don't play stupid, Jace." Alec said. Jace didn't say anything so Alec walked over to him and used his finger to pull Jace face towards him.

"Why did you try to kiss me?" Alec asked. Jace looked at him for a moment, then sighed taking Alec's hand and pulling him down the opposite hall Izzy went down. Izzy had insisted she have the bedroom that was separate from the other two. Saying that "As a female she needed more space and privacy." Alec let Jace pull him down the hall throwing the rag into the bathroom as the passed it. Jace pulled Alec into his room, closing the door behind him. Alec sat on Jace's bed, crossing his legs. Jace locked the door and moved over to Alec, sitting next to him on the bed.

"So," Alec began. "What was that?" Jace was looking down at his hands and took a deep breath, taking one of Alec's hands and playing with his fingers. Alec watched him patiently, waiting for him to begin.

"I like you ok?" Jace began. "I have for a while. And I knew it was wrong because we are basically brothers, but I couldn't help it. I felt disgusting. Like I was a perverted freak for feeling this way, especially about you. It stressed me out. I just wanted to be normal."

"You are normal, Jace." Alec said softly staring into Jace's eyes. Jace met his eyes for a moment before looking back down at his hands playing with Alec's fingers.

"I didn't know what to do. So I started drinking to ease the feeling," Jace took a deep breath. "I didn't feel like it was enough, so I drank more and more. And then one day at the club this guy offered me cocaine. And being my stupid self I took it. A lot of it." Alec moved his other hand to hold one of Jace's hands, linking their fingers together.

"But I still didn't feel like it was enough. So I got some weed from the same guy. I promise those are the only two I've taken." Jace said staring into Alec's eyes who was watching him carefully.

"I know I can stop. I only started it a month ago…" Alec sighed and stared down at their hands.

"I'm so sorry Alec. I should have just told you. I should have-" Jace was cut off by Alec's lips descending on his. Alec kissed him softly and sweetly, bring his hand up to cup Jace's cheek. Jace kissed back closing his eyes and melting into Alec. When Alec pulled away he leaned his forehead against Jace's.

"Just promise me you won't do it anymore. I'll help you get sober ok?" Jace nodded, his eyes still closed. Alec kissed him again.

"Oh and I like you too." Jace laughed softly and kissed Alec.

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**AN:/ Alrighty! there ye go! i hope you liked it and if this gets 5 reviews i will post a new chapter on tuesday.**


	5. The Next Day

**AN:/ alrighty here is chapter 5! i know it's short but i wanted to seperate Jace's thought process between his conversations with Alec so yeah! please R&R**

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*The next day*

Jace was asleep. Finally. He and Alec had stayed up late just talking. Jace told him in greater detail all that had been happening over the last month. Before they knew it, it was 1 in the morning and neither of them liked losing sleep, so Alec retreated to his own bedroom, giving Jace a kiss on the forehead before he left. Jace felt bad. He felt that what they were doing was wrong and that they shouldn't be kissing and holding each other. Jace didn't let it show though. He smiled and cuddled into Alec when he wrapped his arm around him and kissed back when Alec kissed him, but he knew it was wrong and that tore him a part, but he wouldn't sink again. No. He promised Alec and even if what they were doing was wrong, he knew he needed to keep that promise.

Jace slowly woke up blinking at the light that filtered through his window. Jace sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to clear the sleep out of them. He sat there and sighed looking around the room. He stared at his desk, knowing that his happy medicine was no longer hidden behind it. Alec shook his head and sighed once again.

He was about to get up when there was a knock on his door.

"Jace?" It was Alec. Jace's eyes went wide. He didn't want to talk to Alec. He didn't want to kiss him, hug him, or anything knowing that it was wrong. Jace hurriedly down once again covering himself with a blanket and turned toward the wall, trying to make as little sound as possible. Right as Jace relaxed his body to make it appear like he was sleeping, the door opened.

Alec was still dressed in his black pajama bottoms and had an Of Mice & Men sleep shirt on. Alec smiled at Jace's 'sleeping' form.

I should let him sleep. Alec thought to himself. He quietly closed the door and went to the kitchen to get some much needed coffee. Jace sighed with relief and rolled over running his fingers through his hair.

It's gonna be a long day. Jace thought to himself as he laid there staring at the ceiling. At first he thought about nothing, then a pair of gentle blue eyes popped into his mind. Those eyes were accompanied by soft, pink lips, jet black hair, and beautiful porcelain skin. Jace smiled slightly at what he saw. He reminisced about the way Alec's lips had felt against his. How Alec's hand seemed to fit with his perfectly. For a moment he focused on the eyes floating around in his head. Staring into the deep blue, he seemed to be calmed. All his worrisome thoughts about their new relationship were gone. "Relationship." If you could even call it that. They never declared anything. All they said was that they liked each other like a couple of middle school kids.

Even with this thought he was calm and he continued staring into those blue orbs as he drifted back into unconscious bliss. The last thing that played in his mind was Alec's words and goofy smile "Oh and I like you too."

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**AN:/ if this gets 5-10 reviews i will post a new chapter saturday.**


	6. Mixed Feelings

**AN:/ Alrighty guys here is chapter 6! hope you enjoy please R&R! **

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Jace groaned as he rolled over. The sun hit his closed eyes and Jace groaned again throwing his arm over his face. After a moment he sighed and sat up, looking around the room. The sun was shining through the window lighting it up with soft bluish light. Jace rubbed at his eyes and stood looking at the clock and seeing that it was 10:36. Jace sighed once again and stood, stretching his arms up and groaning as he felt the stretching of his muscles. Jace dropped his arms and swung them a bit as he walked toward the door.

Jace peeked his head out of his room, not seeing Alec anywhere. Jace sighed with relief and stepped completely out of his room. As much as he liked, or better yet loved, Alec he was nervous about being around him now that he knew Alec felt the same as he did. Most people would want to spend every waking moment with them, and cuddle into them when they slept, but Jace felt that the whole situation was wrong. He had never liked a boy this much. None the less his own step-brother! Jace didn't hear anybody and assumed that they had left for work.

Jace walked into the kitchen and began pouring himself a cup of coffee. Luckily for him it was still steaming thanks to Izzy who only knew how to make coffee and always made a fresh cup for him before she left. Jace drank the black liquid, humming at the bitter taste he loved. Jace leaned his forearms on the counter and stared out the kitchen window that was above the sink.

Strong yet thin arms wrapped around Jace's torso and a chest pressed against his back. Jace closed his eyes realizing his assumption was wrong. He really didn't want to bump into Alec today, much less at all, but he wouldn't let it show. He still really liked Alec and he desperately wanted to be with him, but knowing that what they were doing was technically incest, didn't sit right with him.

"Morning sleepy head." Alec whispered into Jace's ear and kissed his cheek.

"Mmm morning." Jace said and leaned into Alec's body. Alec kissed Jace's neck Jace pulled back and moved away from Alec. Alec stared at him questioningly.

"What's wrong?" Alec asked staring at Jace. Jace shook his head.

"Nothing." Jace said dumping his coffee in the sink and leaving the mug there too.

"Um ok?" Jace looked at Alec briefly then turned about to walk down the hallway to his bedroom.

"Jace, wait." Alec said grabbing his wrist.

"Yeah?" Jace looked at Alec who smiled at him.

"Would you want to go out tonight? A movie? Or dinner maybe?"

"Umm I don't think so, Alec." Alec's smile fell.

"Oh, why not?" Jace tried to keep his cool. He hated hurting Alec and he could tell that Alec was most definitely hurt by his words.

"I'm busy…" Jace gently pulled his wrist out of Alec's grasp, hoping the action didn't further hurt Alec's feelings.

"Oh…ok"

"I have to go get ready." Jace said, turning his to walk into his room.

"Well I'm heading to work." Alec said stepping forward as if to kiss Jace. Jace turned his head at the last minute causing Alec to kiss his cheek instead.

"Have a good day." Jace said and opened the door to his room and closed it behind him. Jace leaned against the door and closed his eyes, sliding down the door to the floor. I hate this. Jace thought to himself as a single tear fell from his eye.

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**AN:/ thanks for reading! i have play rehears all this week and wont be able to post until next weekend but if you guys give me at least 5 reviews i will try to post before the end of this week! love you all! 3**


	7. Alec's Thoughts

**AN:/ sorry about the wait but i had 4 performances of Alice in Wonderland to do so to make it up i did 2 chapters. here you go and please R&R**

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Alec had gotten to work about 4 hours ago and was finally on his lunch break. He had been conflicted ever since he had left the house this morning and Jace had pretty much dismissed his affection. Alec was confused. He thought Jace liked him. He thought he wanted to be with him. And Alec wanted that too. He wanted it so badly.

Alec left the store once his co-worker, Sebastian, came in to take over for the two hours Alec had off. He went to the food court where he found Ragnor sitting at a back booth against the food court walls. Alec sat down across from his friend and laughed slightly when Ragnor looked up and jumped not noticing that Alec had sat down.

"Oh, Hey!" Ragnor said and hugged Alec from over the table. Ragnor was a very affectionate person, which Alec was still trying to get used to, but he hugged back anyway.

"Hey." Alec said with a sigh.

"So, remember that guy I was telling you about? Well-"

Alec zoned out of the conversation, thinking about Jace. He was still so confused about the way he had acted this morning. Alec really like Jace. More than liked really, but he wasn't sure if he could actually say it was love.

Last night was perfect. They found out things about each other that they had no idea about.

Alec was knocked back into awareness when Ragnor poked his cheek repeatedly.

"Hey blue eyes. You back?" Alec sighed and nodded.

"Yeah. Sorry…" Ragnor watched him for a bit before nodding and leaning back.

"Alright. What's wrong?" Alec sighed again.

"It's Jace…"

"Oh what happened this time?"

"I walked in on him completely wasted. He was drunk and high and when I threw the drugs away he got pissed. We got into an argument and things got a little out of hand."

"What do you mean?" Ragnor asked, shocked by what he was hearing. He had met Jace and never once pinned him for the crack-head. He was so neat and took things seriously, but still had fun with it.

"He kind of pushed me into the shower and my head smacked against the tiles on the wall. It's just a small cut that's all but when it happened he just sobered up completely pretty much, and when I pushed past him to the kitchen to take care of my head he followed. He kept saying how sorry he was and helped me with my head and we almost kissed, but then Izzy came home and we jumped apart and she asked about my head and he begged me not to say anything with his eyes. After he dragged me to his room and told me about everything that had been going over the past month."

Ragnor was baffled by the things he was hearing and honestly he wasn't sure if he could believe but he continued to listen.

"Turns out he has had feelings for me for a long time and was afraid and felt like they were wrong and that's what started the drug and alcohol abuse. You know I feel about him and I told him and everything as great but this morning he was so standoffish and I don't know what to do."

Alec sighed once he finished and looked up at Ragnor who had a look on his face that Alec couldn't quite place. Ragnor cleared his throat and looked down.

"Isn't he a musician?"

"Well sort of. I mean he plays the guitar and sometimes writes songs…" Ragnor crossed his arms."

"Use that then."

"What?"

"Maybe helping him write a song or something will help him get over the addiction. By the way if he is really as addicted as it sounds, he probably has more stashes of drugs in his room. I'd check if I were you." Ragnor said he sounded mad, but Alec didn't say anything.

"That's smart. I never thought about that." Ragnor nodded and didn't meet Alec's eyes. They ordered a pizza from the Pizza Hut in the food court and ate in awkward silence.

"So you think this whole song thing will work?" Alec asked. Ragnor sighed.

"Yeah." He threw a ten on the table and stood.

"I got to go. Have a good day, Alec." Alec expected Ragnor to hug him or kiss his cheek like he usually did. He simply walked away, leaving Alec to watch him in confusion.

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**AN:/ so there you go please Review because im not sure if you guys like it due to the lack of responses i might just cut this story so please review.**


	8. Caving In

**AN:/ is you go! hehe hope you enjoy and please R&R**

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Jace was lying in bed starring at the ceiling. It had been hours since Alec had left and the urge to get high was overwhelming. He was trying his best to keep it under control, but the more he tried the worse the urge got. The stash is still there. Get it. You need it. You'll feel better. You'll forget. Jace thought to himself. He shook his head and closed his eyes trying to break the voice in his head. Come on Jace. You know you want to. You know you need to.

"I promised, Alec." Jace said to himself, tightening his closed eyes and clenching his fists around his sheets. He will understand. You need this, Jace. You need to let go. Jace shook his head.

"No." You need it. You want to. You need to. Don't deny yourself what you want. Jace was breathing heavily. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to cave in. He needed to be sober. He needed to someone to help him. Jace opened his eyes.

"I need it." Jace said to himself. He stood and walked over to his closet. He opened the door and pulled back the clothes. He had always kept all of his shoe boxes for some reason. Made it easier to store things he supposed. He ran his finger over the stacks of boxes until he got to the cardboard Converse box that he had gotten about four years ago. He picked up the other three boxes that were set on top of it and set them off to the side. He opened the converse box carefully and set the top on the floor. He stared down at the contents of the box and sighed heavily. In the box there were two small bags of toxic white powder known as coke, or cocaine if you will, three small bags of weed, a pack and a half of cigarettes and two "travel sized" bottles of scotch and vodka. There were also a few razors and pieces of paper for rolling his joints.

Jace took a deep breath and reached for the vodka. His hand was shaking and when he grasped it he closed his eyes. He knew he shouldn't be doing this but he couldn't bring himself to stopping now. Jace opened his eyes and undid the screw top of the bottle and brought the bottle to his lips he took a deep breath and took a few big gulps of the clear liquid. He scrunched up his nose and clenched his eyes shut at the burning consumed his throat, then sighed at the dizzying feeling. He smiled slightly and chugged the rest of the liquid down until the bottle was empty. He took a deep breath when he was finished and closed his eyes momentarily. It's not enough and you know it. He thought to himself. Jace tried to deny it, but he knew he wouldn't be able to.

He reached into the box again and grabbed one of the bags of cocaine. He opened it and poured some onto the top of the box. He took the razor from the box and used it to line up the powder. He swallowed and leaned down, using his finger to close up his left nostril and snorted up the line using his right. Jace sat back and leaned against the closet wall. He sat there for a moment before it really hit him.

"I messed up" Jace said to himself as a few tears ran down his face silently.

Jace reached for his phone and quickly scrolled through his contact list until he found the person he was looking for. Alec. Jace clicked on his contact and stared at it for a moment. He needed help and only Alec could help him. Jace tapped the screen to call Alec and brought it up to his ear. After three rings there was an answer.

"Hello?"

"Alec?" Jace said, his voice scratchy and gruff from the alcohol, drugs and slight crying. "I need you."

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**AN:/ As i had said in the last chapter i really need feedback from you guys. so please review im really unsure about continuing this story and need to know what you guys think.**


	9. Helping

**AN:/ HEY GUUYYYSSS! sorry it took so long! terrible writers block but here is chapter 9 FINALLY!**

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"Alec?" Jace said, his voice scratchy and gruff from the alcohol, drugs and slight crying. "I need you."

Alec had just gotten done with his shift and was on his way out of the mall and to his car when he got the call from Jace.

"Hold on, I'll be there soon." Alec said before hanging up and running the rest of the way to his car. Once he got to his car he threw open the door and hopped in driving before he even closed his door or buckled his seatbelt.

Alec was worried. He knew Jace must have done it again. He just knew it.

Alec drove as fast as he could, thankfully not getting any tickets on the way, and got home in no time. Alec threw open his door and jumped out of the car, leaving it with the keys still in the ignition and ran into the house. He ran down the hallway to Jace's room and found Jace curled up in a ball in his closet.

Alec's heart broke at the sight. Jace was sobbing his heart out and had a tight grip on the blade he used to shape the cocaine.

Alec walked over to him slowly.

"Jace…" Alec said cautiously. Jace's head shot up and stared at Alec making his heart break more seeing how read Jace's face was and the puffiness of his eyes from the tears.

"I tried Alec! I tried! I'm so sorry…" Jace broke off in more sobs.

"Jace drop the blade." Alec said gently. Jace clutched it tighter making it cut into his palm and blood dripped down his hand slowly. Jace winced but kept his grip firm.

"Jace please…" Alec had tears traveling down his own cheeks now. He walked over and kneeled in front of Jace, leaning over him, covering him with his own body without actually touching him.

"Please," Alec said in desperation. Jace jumped up and held the blade in his hand tightly. He stared at Alec as he said:

"I can't!" Jace brought down the blade and cut three deep lines into his wrist.

"No!" Alec cried out. Jace dropped the blade finally and fell to his knees covering his face with his bloody hands.

"I'm sorry!" Jace cried out between sobs. Alec knelt next to him with tears streaming down his face silently. He wrapped his arms around Jace and pulled him into his body.

"Why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to yourself?!" Alec asked desperately.

"I'm sorry…" Jace whispered almost inaudible.

"I love you! Why? Why did you do this?" Jace pulled away and stared at Alec for a moment before looking down at the floor. He slowly raised his arm and pointed to the boxes in his closet. Alec knew there must be something in there. Alec reluctantly let go of Jace and walked over to the closet, stopping in the doorway and stared down at the box filled with drugs, alcohol and more blades. Jace watched him silently. Alec turned around and looked at Jace.

"I'll take care of it later," He said walking back over to Jace. "I need to take care of you first." Alec lifted Jace up by his arms gently and helped him to the bathroom. Jace leaned against Alec, burying his face into Alec's neck. He kissed it once. Making Alec cry a little more but he didn't let Jace know that.

Alec set Jace down next to the door, against the wall and kissed his forehead. Alec grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around the cuts on Jace's wrist to stop the bleeding. Jace watched him silently, as he turned on the water for a bath, got a washcloth from under the sink and got the medical supplies out from behind their mirror cabinet.

When the bath was filled with warm water, Alec turned it off and closed the door to the bathroom. He then knelt in front of Jace and slowly pulled Jace's shirt off, careful not to mess with his wrist too much. Then he slowly and undid and pulled down his jeans and underwear. Jace was watching his face the entire time. Alec looked up and they met eyes, but neither said anything.

Alec helped Jace up and into the bath gently sitting in front of the tub and grabbing the washcloth. He dipped it into the water and rubbed a bit of soap on it. He pushed Jace's hair out of the way, tucking it behind hid hair. He slowly ran the cloth over Jace's face, scrubbing away the tear streaks and blood. He ran it down Jace's arms and finally got to his wrist.

"This is gonna sting." Alec said quietly. Jace, who had his eyes closed, nodded slowly. Alec ran the cloth over the cuts gently. Jace winced and sucked in through his teeth making Alec himself wince.

"I'm sorry baby…" Alec whispered, squeezing the bloody soap water out of the cloth.

Jace shook his head and opened his eyes for the first time since he got into the bath.

"No. I am. This is all my fault. I should have just told you." Jace had a tear slowly trailing down his cheek. Alec's finger caught and he cupped Jace's cheek gently.

"I love you Jace. Nothing is going to change that. We'll get through this together. Okay?"

"Okay." Jace said. Alec kissed his lips gently and helped him out of the water drying him off and giving him a pair of fresh underwear, a t-shirt, and pajama pants. Jace put them on.

"Go lay on my bed, in my room, baby. I'll be there in a bit." Jace nodded, knowing what Alec was going to do, and left the bathroom retreating to Alec's room and curing up on the bed, that had a solid black comforter. The walls were dark blue, not quite navy but not quite royal either. He had a few band posters on his walls and wood desk in the corner the door. Jace closed his eyes and sighed deeply, as a few tears slipped out of his eyes.

Alec took a deep breath as he walked back into Jace's room. He went over to the closet and gathered the drugs and alcohol into the box along with the razor that was left on the floor. He took them to the bathroom and flushed them down the toilet. He did the same with the blades. They were the small ones from razors and easily went down. He then poured the alcohol down the drain and threw away the bottles. He wiped a few tears from his eyes and grabbed the first aid kit from off the counter and walked to his room.

He found Jace curled up on his bed, staring at the wall.

"Hey" he whispered as he sat down on the edge of the bed near Jace's feet.

"Hey" Jace whispered back.

"Come here" Alec said and Jace sat up leaning into Alec who wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head.

"I need to clean and wrap the cuts baby…" Alec said gently. He felt Jace nod into his chest and kissed his temple. Alec opened the first aid kit and took out a small white pad and the bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

"Let me see your arm." Alec said softly. Jace reluctantly held out his arm and Alec dabbed some of the peroxide onto the pad and held Jace's hand gently.

"It's going to sting okay?"

"okay." Alec carefully pressed the pad to the cuts. Jace cried out at the sting and clutched Alec's shirt.

"Shhh it's okay baby" Once Alec thought they were cleaned enough he wrapped Jace's wrist in stretchy gauze and kissed it when it was completely wrapped and tied.

Alec looked down at Jace. Jace was already staring at him.

"Thank you." Jace said quietly. Alec nodded and kissed Jace's temple.

"I love you" Alec whispered into Jace's ear.

"I love you too." Jace said his voice cracking a bit. "I'm sorry…"

"Shh let's just forget about it, yeah?" Jace nodded and Alec laid down next to Jace. Jace curled into Alec, burying his face into his chest. Alec pulled him into his chest and held him protectively as they slowly drifted to sleep.

* * *

**AN:/ Hope you liked it! again im so sorry it took so long but right now im writing some screenplays for a movie and i had state testing and i have work so yeah plus i had really bad writers block for this and my other stories so yeah truly sorry! please forgive dobby! dobby is a good elf.**


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